Sunday, April 6, 2014

Writing my thoughts in this moment; just for today..

I've been really busy working on dolls and other items for my ETSY SHOP I'm currently listed on "vacation" there so I can gather and create what I want to create to put into my shop all at one time. 

I remember when I first put things in there and they went so fast. If this happens again I honestly won't be able to keep up with the demand. Handmade things do take a ton of time to make; that's the way the ball bounces..

Anyways, I was thinking about how I have such a creative mind that if I don't actually do what I'm thinking of I won't sleep at night. I'll just keep thinking of it over and over again till I actually put pen to paper, write it down, draw it etc. Honestly, I have so many ideas in my head that I myself can't keep up with it. The ideas come faster than my hands can produce! ha ha!

I created a journal, a binder if you will to collect my thoughts about what I want to make, just to see if this would help me. The thing is huge. It has paper in it where I can draw, places to put photos etc. I have to say it doesn't help me. It makes me feel worse; like I'm not doing things fast enough. I look over it and feel overwhelmed so instead of that I've decided to just try to block out other ideas while I'm working on a project. Of course I do write things down but I don't over think it anymore. 


There are so many "learning" videos on YouTube, it's great. I can't get enough of YouTube when it comes to that sort of thing. 

I recently found a few channels where they teach (yes, I said teach) you how to paint with water colors. I've been painting ever since. I also got a few items to help along such as a doodle book. I'm not such a good painter but it's super fun and takes away the stress so I do it anyways.

Speaking of Youtube I have my own channel and I haven't uploaded as of yet this year. I did remove my old videos to start the New Year fresh in 2014 and I've made some new ones that haven't been released. This year I turned 40, this year I'm supposed to be graduating and getting my B.A in General Psychology, this year I'm planning on getting a career not just a job and this year I'll be launching my ETSY SHOP, even though I opened it a long time ago I'm going to be keeping up with it and producing more dolls more frequently so I consider it a new launch so to speak. 


This might not be the place to put my weightloss journey but really it's been apart of me for so long that how could I not mention it. 

I've been on a weightloss journey for years. Literally. The last time I lost a ton of weight and reached goal was back in 2007. I had my priorities straight and I was really super happy before I started losing weight. 

I know this might sound strange but I got divorced in 2007 and was so happy about it that I decided to join a gym and lose weight. I did it and managed to lose about 80 pounds. Oh my God did I look stunning; I bought new clothes and the whole nine. I got so much attention it wasn't even funny...

Then tragedy struck; back to back, two major things that happened to the point I lost touch with reality, fell into the deepest depression of my entire life. Suicide is all I thought about. I gained all the weight back because of what had occurred.

This is life people. But here's what I learned; tragedy will happen, not only will it happen but it will happen when you least expect it to. And when it does, don't lose yourself because yourself is all you have and all you will have. Yourself is the only person you will ever have with you 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Take care of yourself. Point blank. 

Anyways, I'm on a weightloss journey and I'm trying so hard to find some sort of balance in my life but it is hard and it's trial and error. I know this is a life change (Lord knows I've heard that a million times over) and I want to be able to live with what I choose to do with my life. In other words being on a diet doesn't work because eventually I will stop and go right back to what I had done before because essentially I didn't learn anything to begin with. So it goes..

Here's something that I created on my own today. No recipe just threw it together.

I call this my "Strawberry salad". I never really mixed fruit and veg before, but I love it and probably won't eat a salad without fruit ever again.

The ingredients are:

half a head of iceberg lettuce
dried cranberries
pinch of almonds
baby carrots 
and the juice of one cara cara orange (for dressing)

If you have not tried fruit and veg together, YOU MUST!

Till next time,

Dolly xxxxxx's and oooo's